Success is not a number

Default

Last week, I had a conversation with a tech leader who told me she felt like she was carrying around a bag of guilt. When I asked what she meant, she said: "I used to do it all, and then say yes to more. I ran myself so hard on every project that I was constantly burned out and not there for my kids and family.”

She went on, “I answered emails within minutes. Now I’m committed to working hard, but smart. I have a work phone, and I leave it at home on ‘my time’. I batch my email twice a day, and I actually think before saying yes to more. But I feel... guilty?" [anonymized, like all my research quotes]

Here's what struck me: This leader had just described a textbook example of sustainable success. She was happier. Spending time with her family. Crushing it at work on healthier terms.

But because she was measuring herself against burnout culture metrics, she felt guilty.

The research backs up her instincts, not her feelings. Stanford's research shows that productivity per hour declines sharply after 50 hours per week. Research also finds when workers truly disconnect from work during off-hours - what researchers call 'psychological detachment' - we experience decreased exhaustion and increased job performance (Sonnentag & Fritz, 2007).

But knowing the research and feeling confident about it are two different things.

We're afraid that if we measure success differently, we may actually feel less successful, because work success measures are clear-cut. Salary. Title. Responsibility.

Life success measures are…more wobbly. Less crisp.

For most of our careers, we've been rewarded for hustle metrics: hours worked, immediate responsiveness, saying yes to everything. Leaning in.

Shifting to sustainability metrics may feel a bit like we're giving ourselves permission to slack off.

What we’re really doing is shifting our ambition to encompass LIFE. All of it.

Quick favor: forward this email to someone who says their success doesn’t feel… successful. Making the workplace a healthier place is going to take all of us.

Ambition

When I was at Salesforce, my success was measured by how quickly I could turn around analyses, how many plates I could simultaneously keep spinning, and how effectively I could get puzzles solved. I got promoted. I got recognition.

I also got blinding migraines that lasted for days, and a phone I didn’t look away from on nights and weekends.

The new ambition isn't about working less - it's about measuring what actually creates lasting impact.

What metrics would have accurately predicted my long-term success? Energy at day's end. Whether the pace I was maintaining was something I could sustain for years, not just quarters.

Here are 4 new metrics to focus on that predict sustainable leadership success:

1. Energy Instead of hours worked, ask: “Do I have energy for my life outside work?”

2. Focus on Quality Instead of the number of decisions made, ask: “How many decisions did I make with full context and clear thinking?”

3. Sustainable Pace Along with project milestones achieved this week, ask: “Can I maintain this pace for 6 months without burning out?”

4. Psychological Safety Along with team productivity, ask: “How often did team members bring me risks or problems early vs. after they became crises?”

That twinge (or scream) of guilt when we say no…or set a boundary? It’s our hustle muscle memory. When we measure what matters, both to us and the business, we might discover we need to change how we work.

And change, even positive change, feels risky when so many around us are still playing by the default rules.

But here's what I've learned (and the research bears this out): Leaders who measure success with KPIs that include “good for humans” don't become less effective. They become more strategic, more sustainable, and yes, more promotable over the long term.

More importantly, they set a hell of a good example for future leaders to do the same.

AND we make it to brunch, birthday parties, and basketball games.

GO | DO

The 5-Minute Success Audit

Estimated time: 5 minutes | Estimated energy: almost none

This week, audit your sustainable success KPIs and make one micro-adjustment.

The beautiful thing about this audit? You're not committing to a massive overhaul. 

You're committing to measuring what matters and making one small shift. Small shifts compound.

Make it a weekly audit to maximize your growth rate.

Get In There

• 👂🏼Worth a listen: Harvard Business Review's “Women at Work” podcast, "The Essentials: Setting and Maintaining Boundaries,” covers the "positive no" technique - saying no to the initial request while sharing what you CAN do.

• 💪🏼You do You: [read or listen] From NPR’s Life Kit “Ready to take on a difficult goal? Here’s how a buddy might help.” Options for everyone to find accountability solutions, and why accountability partnership can change the game.

• 📖Read: Cal Newport’s newest book, “Slow Productivity: The Lost Art of Accomplishment Without Burnout,” examines a world of work that’s due for a new revolution. Slow productivity, he believes, is exactly what we need.