Leading and Living in the Middle of Tech's Messy-ness

Default

"I don't have time for one more thing." She’s a tech sales leader who can’t find one window a week to go swimming. Or every other week. Or once a month.

Swimming is the only activity, she says, that makes her feel sane.

My daily research calls with women tech leaders focus on leading through tech’s transformation and the impact it has on confidence and well-being. I’m designing solutions for women tech leaders to help navigate this upheaval, restore resilience, reduce burnout, and build a healthier work culture on their teams.

These are the leaders expected to rebuild culture after a restructure. Or a layoff. Or another layoff. One thing is clear: the state of transformation in technology has leaders on the front line of sweeping change, many times without the information, tools, or guidance they need to lead with confidence.

There are tears on these calls. 

To say it’s not easy in tech right now doesn’t capture it. The women I’m speaking with are trying to get work done with teams that are anxious, unfocused, and have had their trust broken.

They’re feeling stalled, stuck, and unsure about how to prioritize all the work with fewer team members to do it.

At the center of it all? Letting the work day end - what’s called ‘psychological detachment’ - feels even more impossible for leaders leading in this environment.

I hear a lot of “I’ve always had a hard time disconnecting, but now…I am always on.”

The data adds to the stress, with tech CEOs confirming what we’re feeling: that this instability will continue. Satya Nadella says the layoffs are weighing on him (in a memo following the latest round of Microsoft layoffs), but that overall employee count is flat for the year.

WEF’s Future of Jobs report makes the case that the layoffs we’re experiencing are a reshaping (not a shrinking) of the tech landscape, but CEOs are continuing the trend of flattening and shrinking their workforces. At least for now.

Left to march forward are the leaders that brought us to this moment, made it possible, and now are figuring out how to lead from the messy middle.

There is no business as usual.

Quick favor: forward this email to someone who says their success doesn’t feel… successful. Making the workplace a healthier place is going to take all of us.

Ambition

The hope is that somehow, a humane adjustment will come. That AI productivity gains won’t replace humans, but will help us work less while enjoying the continued increases in productivity we’ve seen since the Second World War.

Our ambition is a dog walk without our office in our pocket. A Sunday without email. Work that makes sense, and jobs that feel stable … or at the very least … respectful.

What I hear the most when I ask the question “if you had a magic wand and could fix anything at all right now that is broken with your way of working, what would it be?” is this:

“I’d be able to leave work at work … not all the time, but most times … and focus on living my life”.

That’s the new ambition. And the good news is, we can start small, even in the middle of this shit show upheaval.

But if I know anything about you, it’s that you might not take the small win. Or give yourself credit for small steps forward. You’re a “big leap” type.

But this is the core truth: Small steps forward are still progress.

GO | DO

Got a minute? Set a boundary!

Set an away status in Slack, Teams, or your calendar when you’re stepping away, whether for a break from screens, a meal, or at the end of the day to hang with family or friends. And then step away, and take a screen-free break.

Leaders who make this shift show others it’s safe (and powerful) to protect your own boundaries in a low-risk way. Win. Win.

I was chatting with a Dad-in-Tech who told me he sets his status to family time from 6 - 9 every night, then hops on if needed after the kids are settled. It works for him, and he’s got a coverage plan when emergencies pop up.

Some status samples to riff on:

• “⏱️ OOP for family—back at 9 PM PT for urgent issues only. Can’t wait? DM [@backup] or text me”

• “🎧 Focus break—returning after 3 PM PT. If it can’t wait, call [team line] or contact [@backup].”

• “⏳ OOP for 1 hour – backup: [@backup], for emergencies.”

Why it matters: 

Clarity is kind. Setting your out-of-pocket status takes seconds but lets people know you’re intentionally taking a break; even when you can’t fully log off for the day.

Not only can you step away from the screens with confidence, but you’re also normalizing this healthy practice as absolutely acceptable.

Why it works: 

Research from organizational science and tech workplace surveys confirms that visible micro-boundaries, including status updates, reduce “always-on” pressure, legitimize healthy detachment, and protect against after-hours burnout. It’s especially powerful for those of us working in high-intensity roles or during times of uncertainty (Sonnentag & Kühnel, Org. Science, 2024; Careerflow.ai Survey, 2023).

Keys to Success: 

• Be sure your backup is, well, backing you up: Communicate and set expectations on what’s expected before listing them.

• Keep it simple: Consider using a generic escalation phrase, like “Urgent? Text keyword ‘URGENT’ to [number]” or “email [backup] with ‘urgent’ in subject.”

• Make resilience a team sport: Create an up-to-date document or channel listing coverage contacts for out-of-hours support.

• Change it up: Rotate your “emergency point person” where possible, especially in teams where caregiving and competing priorities make full responsiveness a challenge.

What will you GO | DO with your time?

Get In There

• 🧢 Wear your status on your sleeve … or head. I’m in no way affiliated with these Etsy sellers but think you could totally rock this "Out of Office” hat or this mug to remind everyone short breaks are great for our brains.

• 🎙️Sometimes we need to laugh it off, and this episode of It Gets Late Early: Ageism in the Workplace is all about the power of humor when navigating tech.

• And speaking of messy: I’ll always have the heart of a Marketer, and the way Astronomer leaned all the way in, bringing actress and Goop CEO Gwyneth Paltrow as a "very temporary" spokesperson after its CEO and HR chief resigned. Does it solve all that’s wrong in tech? Nope. Is it guerrilla marketing at speed? Yep.