i'm fine. (she wasn't.)

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“I’m fine,” she said.
But her body told her, loud and clear, she was (in fact) not fine at all.

She’s an exec. She’s killing it on paper. Seriously, you’d be impressed. I am. And she’s unraveling behind the scenes.

Not because she’s bad at her job.
Because she’s been too good for too long. In a system that rewards burnout and calls it resilience.

This is the week it’s catching up.

When we got together, she’d just gotten back from a family vacation. Told me proudly she “only” worked three days. Of five.

I did the quick math in my head and kept my mouth shut. She knew it was a big chunk of her family’s Summer break. I didn’t need to add salt to that wound.

“So what’s going on?” I asked.
Dead silence. We sat. I waited.
She sighed:

“Coming back almost made me regret the vacation.”

And there it was. Her summer “rest” hadn’t lived up to its promise.
She’d really, really needed it to. She’d needed to rest—but slunk away for work calls and Slack messages anyway. Now she’s back to a packed calendar, a new reorg rumor, a shifting strategy, and a team just as fried as she is.

And still, we say we’re fine.

But 76% of women in tech are burned out and 82% of workers globally are at risk of burnout. And no one is going to hit pause for us. (sources: everywoman/Bupa, DHR Global, 2024)

We have to do that for ourselves.

The day we spoke, it was because she’d (finally) started listening to what her body was telling her.

Quick favor: forward this email to someone who says their success doesn’t feel… successful. Making the workplace a healthier place is going to take all of us.

Ambition

Her story caught me deeply in the soul. I had been her. I had been there. When I had my own ‘success might be killing me’ moment, I was literally checking into a spa weekend while taking an “emergency” call from my CMO.

I asked her, “What if success wasn’t measured by how long you can run on fumes?” and she looked at me as if I’d lost my mind. Too many of us don’t actually believe we can make changes that matter.

We can. And we should. But until we can believe it’s possible, I guarantee those changes won’t stick.

So I ask you, with all due respect ,

What if the new ambition looks like logging off before collapse? Recovering before you have to retreat? Leading from capacity, not depletion?

She doesn’t need a new job. She needs the space and grace to hear herself think.

She needs the tools for turning the volume down on her anxiety and work habits…even just a bit… without feeling like she’s disappearing from her work. Or abandoning her team.

You do, too.

Because you can’t lead like this forever.
And you don’t have to.

GO | DO

Tonight, try this:

Take a physiological sigh.
Two short inhales through your nose.
One long exhale through your mouth.
Do it three times. That’s it.

It tells your system: “You’re safe. You’re done. You can let go.”

It takes less than 90 seconds.
But it starts to retrain your body to come down. Even when your brain’s still spinning.

🕒 Learn the technique from Andrew Huberman (timestamp: 29:32)
Watch it here

Do it before you check your inbox “one last time.” Before your brain sprints through tomorrow. Before sleep.

Tomorrow morning, step outside.

Get natural sunlight in your eyes within an hour of waking. Even five minutes is enough. No sunglasses. No scrolling. Just look toward the horizon.

🕒 Why it works (25:31)

That light activates the part of our brains that regulates energy, focus, and mood.
It helps (re)set our internal clock and lowers our stress later in the day.

Sunlight is free, readily available, and a just-too-good-to-be-true-but-somehow-it ’s-true-anyway gift to all of us.

One small reset at night.
One anchor in the morning.
That’s how the shift starts.

This is the point when people I work with say, “It’s not enough. It won’t help. You don’t understand.”

I do understand. It seems too easy when everything seems too much. But this isn’t where your journey ends. But it’s not magic, it’s neuroscience. And it’s a start.

Take the (small) win.

Get In There

• 🎧 NEW! Watch Dr. Andrew Huberman’s “most important podcast” on burnout & recovery. Short on time?
  → Start at 25:31 for why morning light improves energy, sleep, and focus
  → Skip to 29:32 to learn the physiological sigh technique.

• 👩🏼‍💻 Future-proof Tech Career Design Prompt (PDF)
  → One page. Three steps. This ChatGPT/Claude prompt helps you build a career plan by mapping emerging roles to what energizes you.
  → It’s fast, doable, and designed to give you a quarter-by-quarter low-ish lift plan to develop your skills in the direction of future roles and your energy.